One of my clients is ill and disabled enough that we generally do our therapy sessions by phone. After several years of working this way, we have learned to communicate with one another in a very connected and nuanced manner, even without the benefit of being in the same room or being mutually visible. Recently we tried something that I wouldn't previously have thought possible: a Gestalt two-chair exercise by telephone and without my client moving a muscle. Purely via verbal guidance, I asked her to imaginatively embody first the part of her that criticizes her, telling her she is a burden to people, ought to be better set up in life by her age, and so on, and then the part of her that has to listen to this critic and suffers the shame and depression that its words effect.
In the course of a dialogue between these two inner parts, my client's inner critic heard and felt how much she was hurting the experiencing part and causing her to give up on herself, rather than motivating her, which was the intention behind all the criticisms; "I am supposed to be taking care of you, not treating you like this!" the critic exclaimed remorsefully. For its part, the experiencing part was shocked and moved to discover that "all I needed to do was ask" and the critic was willing to shift her method of motivation from being hurtful and counterproductive to being gentle and supportive.
At the end of the session, my ill client, who spends most of her time in a recliner and uses oxygen, said to me, "I feel amazing right now". For the first time since childhood, when her inner critic was installed via parental modeling, she felt internally at peace.
Even in the office, with the client physically switching seats in order better to embody the two parts in such a dialogue, this kind of two-chair work can sometimes fall flat. However, when it hits its mark, this Emotion-Focused Therapy technique is powerfully transformative.
For more information on Emotion-Focused Therapy for individuals, check out the appropriate page on my website and Dr. Les Greenberg's pioneering work.
Labels: EFT adapted for people with illnesses and disabilities, Emotion-Focused Therapy, emotional transformation, Gestalt therapy, inner critic work, two-chair technique